Is being selfish all that bad? I say yes and no. If you have a genuine goal and focus in your life. I say fuck it! Be selfish to your heart contends. Why you may ask? Because you're focused. You simply have no time for BS, doing favors for others who may or may not value your time.
Time is so finite, it comes and goes before you know it. One moment you're in high school or college with a dream. A few sidetracks later you're in your 30’s or 40’s scrambling to get your goals and dreams accomplished. This is how a midlife crisis happens. Time has passed trying to find yourself, having fun with friends. Working a job you mildly enjoy, not giving it your all, fearing failure, fearing not being good enough, helping others for whatever reason, and so on. Life has passed you by. But it's not too late, to separate yourself, focus and be selfish.
It’s your life you live it how you want when you want. I get that. Who am I to tell you what you should do with your life. But meet me halfway. Ask yourself do or did you ever have goals and dreams? Now ask yourself are you accomplishing these goals and dreams? Are you where you want to be in life?
Now if you're not working towards these goals. What are you doing? What happened? I bet during your journey throughout life you may have been a little more selfless than you needed to be. Either that or procrastination has a big part of this. For me, it’s both of these. Even though I have many things accomplished in my life. I still feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet.
If only I was a little more selfish throughout my journey. I’d be much closer to where I want to be. I’d be that glorified software engineer. Decorated with 4+ degrees and 20+ certifications and certificates. Id also has mountains of apps, websites, and software for download. Online courses, books, a thriving business, and YouTube. If only I’d just said no or maybe refer them to someone that has the time to help them. Throughout my life, I’ve helped people and have gotten nothing in return. I even take the time to help those that knowingly hate me and very publicly tried to stab me in the back.
I’m sure there are many of you out there that has done the same thing. Honestly, it feels right for me to help others but not like this. As I said above time is finite. So I’ll just be helping people indirectly from here on out. I’m making myself a ghost, impossible to get a hold of. If they do get a hold of me I simply say no, or I can’t with no explanation.
I’ll have many things online including this platform that can help them. Wanna learn to trade or improve your coding, try kodotrading. Want to get fit kodofitness; want to overall improve yourself kodoninja and so on. Everything will be carefully researched planned, written, and filmed. My time is valuable. I’ll charge a premium for my services outside my various free and paid materials. Because in actuality I’d rather be improving and creating content that can help countless people at one time. That's mutualism, the best thing for everyone.
I’m sure if you were a little more selfish in life you would have that dream job by now. Or in general, you would at least know you put everything into your goals and got the most out of what you wanted to do. If you stop to take care of everyone's needs before yours; you’ll always fall short of who you are and who you want to be. It’s never too late to isolate yourself, leave those needy “friends”, family and others behind that are using you. Forget everything and everyone else and focus on who you're meant to be.
Why does modern society fear change so much? Today some are taught we are perfect just the way we are; That everyone should accept the way we are no matter what. Doesn’t matter how we look, our health condition, how competent we are, you name it we should just accept and reject any form of improvement whatsoever. So I revisit the question why does modern society fear change so much?
To answer this question I’m unsure. If you ask anyone who has adopted this ideology they wouldn’t have a clear reason either, only bouts of fear, animosity, rage, and anger. Their resting response would be something along the lines of I’m perfect the way I am, stop trying to change me.
If you believe your perfect the way you are. I believe this article may be uneasy for you to read. I’m just human and this is my opinion on the matter. Not meant to offend anyone, just to offer a different insight. If you humor me I think I can offer some insightful logic.
In the earlier periods; humans who didn’t improve by learning to fight, hunt, swim, or survive died. Others couldn’t carry their weight for them they were left to die. Women would attach themselves to the strongest, fittest, and smartest. So they could survive, and make healthy strong offspring. There have been variations of this throughout millennia to today.
Today our food is caught, hunted, prepared, and available to anyone via markets. We have local authorities, and militia to do most of our protecting for us. The government, family, and friends do our thinking for us. The government can also provide any finical assistance that’s needed. Free healthcare, free education, and libraries, everything is provided for adequate living.
With everything provided to the modern person, why do we need to improve? Hell if your obese, weak, broke, bitter, spiteful, short, unattractive, unemployed, uneducated, unhealthy, cowardly, and so on. There are dozens of like-minded individual that will agree, follow, love, and be attracted to you. With all that said I can almost justify the logic for not needing to change or improve. After all, there’s someone always out there like you.
Here are a few scenarios today that require a change to survive.
You’ve become unhealthy in some shape or form
Now you must adjust your eating or drinking habits.
Or you may have to work out to get back to a healthy shape.
You in need of more income for bills, food, etc. (handouts is not an option)
You must get another job; with current skills
Obtain new skills by going back to school, getting certifications, a trait, etc.
Ironically these types depend on those that have embraced change. Those in the military protecting the country, had to change to become the greatest, and strongest to protect everyone. The first responders, police, doctors, veterinarians, farmers, engineers, and countless others all had to adopt change, improve and acquire new skills that others depend on. The handouts received by the government are all from those who work and pay taxes. They’ll also look up to celebrities who embraced changed to become that public figure. They’ll even vote for a president with the campaign of change. There are dozens of heroes throughout history that fought for their rights refusing to keep things the way they are
Change is a choice it's not a requirement. After all. I’ve given ample amounts of reasons as to why you shouldn’t change. Change is scary. Improving is almost like your going away from who you are. More importantly effort, perseverance, and skill frighten us all. We’ve gotten so used to being lazy clinging to who we believe we are. We reject change at all costs. The choices and decisions we make today define who we are tomorrow.
You stop learning at college now getting that dream job requires you to constantly be improving. Bettering your skills and learning new content in your spare time. Not to mention they prefer the individual with the extended education. Those that actively peruse what's required as a hobby. Hiding out your years at a job anyone can do won't cut it. Success doesn’t fall out of the sky for the lazy and unmotivated. That dream guy or girl will forever remain a dream. Because anyone who has ever succeeded at anything doesn’t want a fat, lazy, slob who runs away from improvement. Success will likely never reach those who don’t want to improve.
But regardless of what you do or how you feel. Hopefully, you don’t end up like those that hate and despise others that go 110% at the gym. As well as those who read 20+ books a month, write their books, and pursue higher educations. For people like myself I give it my all, I work very hard to have the body I have. Including creating apps, and platforms, for various other businesses. This list goes on. Don’t despise those that do everything in their power to become the greatest version of themselves. Or expect them to be your lifeline, they cant be successful for you.
The safe space that’s keeping you from change is ultimately destroying you. It keeps you weak, poor dumb, compliant, and depending on others. Anyone who revokes change is destined to fade away becoming a distant shadow of those who became someone. No one ever remembers the people that didn’t try. They get left behind with all the other losses. It was your choice to run from opportunities; To pick apart the idea of self-improvement. Now the only persons that can relate to you are also those that’ll never accomplish anything.
The takeaway, it’s not too late for change. Start slow if you do decide to. Try I minor improvement seeing how it feels. But put some effort into it don’t give up. Let me know how it goes, if a change isn’t for you you can always remain the same.
It almost seems like every person I come in contact with wastes my time. People who you think are your friends do not feel the same way. In most cases you can see the red flags, they’ll even tell you. “I don’t want to waste your time” Admitting their silly nature, preparing you for the upcoming bullshit. Run for the hills! In other cases they’ll hide it, cloaking their true nature and intentions. These are troubled, deranged individuals who lack purpose in life. They may even be someone close to you. In any case, let us travel through our 8 signs people are gonna wasting your time.
They take, but never give
The next person asking you for something, ask yourself. What have they done for me? Are they trying to get more out of a relationship than they put in? Have they even done anything for you? The majority of people are just trying to use you and waste your time. They’ll avoid any real interaction where they have to put in the same. They never had any intention of being equal with you. Here are a few noticeable circumstances and questions to consider.
Do you always pay for food?
Do you always pay in general?
Are you doing most or all the work?
They give excuses as to why they can’t do something.
Are you always motivating them to be better?
They ask for everything but give nothing.
Are they always asking for favors?
They rarely say thank you.
They just expect you to go above and beyond for them.
Are they always borrowing something of yours?
Did any of this hit home for you, All of which does for me. Hell! I know people who display every one of these. Just drop them! Life is too short for this.
They love to ask questions
You're ever truly analyze a person's questions? Oddly enough, people will ask questions with absolutely no purpose or end goal. It could even be an opinion, statement, or rhetorical question. The question could be so absurd and foolish, but they shoot their shot anyway. It could also seem pure and meaningful. But if someone is there to constantly ask questions and never act on the advice or response. They are there to waste your time. I know you’ve been there and was like WTF. What was the point of that? Why on earth would him/her ask me that.
I mean, they have Google on their phone. They know they can get the question anywhere else, but they choose to bother you. Sometimes it'll be repeated questions about what you're doing?, How you're doing, and so on. Your past, your future… Just purposeless questions to elicit a response. Many of which is a nice dig to you. A malice question geared to your goals or likes. Just empty nonsense.
They always have excuses
You have ever been around someone that always has excuses. They have reasons why they're poor. Reasons for why they don’t want to read, learn, lose weight, etc. They have a reason and excuse for every short cumming in their life. Not everything in life warrants an excuse. At some point in life, people will have to understand what’s going wrong and fix it.
Ask a person to allocate time to do a productive task with you or for themselves. See if there’s an excuse. Try to get them to do anything outside their comfort zone. Excuses and many more will follow.
They don't respect your time
If a person can’t get their life in order, they’ll more than likely not respect your time. Time is so finite yet some spend it trying to get it to pass quickly. If they can see you heavily involved with something good, they’ll find some way to interject and keep you from that task. They have no shame in their actions.
In rare cases, others will feel your time and life are so beneath them. They’ll spare some of their to waste yours. A boss at a job anyone can do is notorious for this. They’ll have you doing a stupid task (busy work) and asking purposeless questions.
They distract you from your goals
You come to notice the surrounding persons often have a hidden agenda. These types of people are foolish. Thus, they are just trying to harm you, keeping you from focusing on your goals. They can see that you're doing something good.
Observe the person wasting your time. You will notice a few common traits.
They’re always on their phone
They feel envy or jealousy towards you
Your success may piss them off
They spend their time hiding from work
They’re always wasting time.
Furthermore, they don’t like change. “Complains of people trying to change them”
They cling to a 9-5
They stopped learning
They gossip seemingly all the time
Consuming useless TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube… videos
Watching pointless TV, and movies
They love to watch sports days on end
They love to play games
Hanging out with friends, family, etc.
Engage in useless conversations and activities
Everything listed above is their life. And your activities and goals are outside their scope of understandings. They don’t get why you work so hard. Your focus and determination is an act of war when all they do is let their life fly by. Thus, it's an unrelenting task to bring you down to their level, to get you to relax, take it easy, and not try so hard.
They lack purpose in life
These are people with no direction whatsoever in life. They perhaps have had a dream in life, but, never really pursued it. However, you, compared to themselves. Are doing much better in life.
They see you’ve had success and accomplishments in life. Thus, it forces them to take a harsh look at their lives. When they do, they can see that in comparison to you, they haven’t accomplished anything.
They just don’t like you
They may not realize it yet, but they don’t like you. Perhaps they may have believed at some point there were similarities between you two. But come to find out your very different. You may realize they're uneasy around you. They will walk up to you, smile, talk to you, but you’ll come to notice there just trying to waste your time. They’ll often throw petty insults at you to elicit a reaction.
Everything about you pisses them off. They hate you to the core. When they come around you, you can see an uncontrollable rage building up. You can feel the malice in their tone, their breathing has increased. Their words, useless questions, and targeted statements are all poised to spite and move you off-center. If they know you like something, they go out of the way to insult it. They’ll even make it painfully obvious there out to get you. In a work environment, they’ll throw you under the bus at any choice they get. They can come up with trillions of complaints about you, to mask their intentions.
You may even come to them with earnest intentions, trying to help them. Or just trying to see how things are going, life is treating them, etc. During the conversation, they’ll go out of their way to once again throw shade on you.
They don’t care
This one can be obvious, and it often won’t be. Many times you’ll be so passionate about your topic that you may overlook the signs that someone doesn't care what you're talking about. Let's say for instance learning how to day-trade. You have a friend that knows your day trade. So that person or yourself may bring it up. The conversation, tells them they can make a full-time living with this skill. So their interest peaked. They want to make money, they don’t necessarily like trading. So you tell them it’s simple you just got to learn the basics, learn some strategies, volume, trends, patterns, blue chips, penny stocks, and so on.
They don’t care, they just want the money. You’ll give them links to YouTube videos, articles, free books, and mountains of content. It’s practically walking them through step by step on how to be good at day-trading. The next week or so, you ask how’s it going with it all, they haven’t started. A month later the same and so on. It’s not you, just that they don’t care. They can’t care. They’d like the reward that comes with persons that slave hours, days on end on the material. Ones that put up their own money, risking their earnings to replace their 9-5 and so on.
Again, they don’t care. They’d rather spend their time doing the common traits I listed above. Even if you were to give them everything they need, walking them through everything in person. They don’t care, they just don’t understand it nor do they want to try it. They are just wasting your time, for their true purpose is a little more malice in nature. If they don’t put forth the work, and effort to try it on their own time. Don’t give them an ounce of your time, avoid them at all costs.
In conclusion, people come in many types in the world. By now, you’ll be able to spot out a time waster a mile away. If you come across them, just understand they are who they are. Don’t judge them or help them. They have no intention of changing their malicious motives. Just be aware of their nature, and how to spot it.
If you’d like. You can take my approach. Keep them seemingly close, and observe their actions. If you know they don’t like you, give them more of you. If you know their goals or dreams, motivate them to pursue them. You may even loan them tools, equipment, a book, or two, links, referrals… Make their next step to their dream easy as pie. Invite them to your overproductive world. “Be their best friend”. Give them a taste of what true hard work looks like. Show them your accomplishments, tell them they can do it too. Be the best damn motivational speaker ever. Have the greatest of intentions for them. Let them believe they can use you. Give them every reason to believe you're a sucker, just some dumb-ass they can use to get ahead in life. Then watch their hate for you multiply, as they try extremely hard to hide it. Ignore their words entirely and focus on their actions. You’ll notice they are completely adjacent to one another. Reflect some kindness to their hate. But never lose focus of your goals…
When you're done, get your stuff back in some kindly fashion. Be nice. Be smart about what you loan out in the first place. Let them know about who they are, call them out about what they're up to. Be radically blunt if you must. Then turn around and be the “sucker” again, lead them on. Continue to give them the impression that they are the ones leading you on. You’ll notice they’ll avoid you like the plague; when they realize you were on to them from the very beginning. They might even make it seem like you're the evil person to others close to you. They’ll deny it, trying to see if they can still milk you for more of your time, money, resources, etc. Not only that, but they’ll truly believe you're a sucker and will keep at it, despite you calling them out. If you're lucky. When you're being nice, it’ll confuse them, and they just run away from you. But a new day means they’ll try to get you again, oddly enough.
These types make it a habit of life to agitate you, spite you, and bring you down. No matter how hard they hide it, you’ll hear bouts of anger and aggression to your every being. They can’t hold it in for that long. Your existence is an insult to who they are. They feel personally attacked by everything you do and say. They just can’t handle it. Furthermore, they aren’t productive, only lazy and bitter. Even your compliments get them angry. The petty insults will increase no matter what you do. Stay calm, stay focused on the bigger picture in life. Success, focus, and tranquility is the greatest weapon for them. Misery loves company. Any other person would truly love you and will precipitate that positive energy back towards you. They’ll go above and beyond for you as well.
This was just a bit of a curiosity experiment; Just to show you how malice a time-waster can be. I find joy and toying with these deranged individuals. But give it a try with a co-worker you suspect. I guarantee you’ll never let an individual like that back in your space again. If possible, just avoid them, be selfish and have yourself in the best interest. These types can be dangerous if you're unable to spot them.
Like my childhood hero Batman, There are reasons why I generally work alone. You can’t deny he has an unrelenting determination towards his goals and beliefs. He may seem deranged the way he stays focused on crime-fighting. He puts in the effort to become the greatest martial artist, and detective the world has ever seen. Bruce has sacrificed his personal life, friends, and family. The only real friends he can have. Are ones just as crazy for the same beliefs?
Alright, so my point in all this? I’ve become Batman! Well minus the whole billionaire playboy, cape crusader, crime-fighting, and detective thing.
It’s difficult to find my Selina Kyle or Barbara Gordon in this world of Millennials. So I work alone. It wasn’t until Batman was succeeding in his goals until the right help (friends) came into his life.
As I am right now, it’s harder to attract sidekicks to my entrepreneurial journey. So let’s get into the 5 reasons why I work alone
1. Priorities, priorities, priorities.
People will not have your full attention, no matter how established you are. When you're aiming towards a goal, It is near impossible to find someone who will follow you. Someone who will allocate as much focus and determination as you do.
Let’s face it, today people have dozens of priorities, and you aren’t one. For the average person, you may not realize it. But people have jobs they need to focus on. That job brings income for bills, family, and personal matters. That job can mean the world to them, regardless of the reason. There are family matters, friends, and their hobbies, and dreams they care more about.
It’s selfish to bring someone onboard your pursuit. People have their own goals they’d like to accomplish. Granted, some are lacking direction in life. It’s still their life. If that life seems lackluster to you, it's a priority to them, they care more about it. Hell, today, a cellphone is the primary focus of one's life.
If someone isn’t on their focus or purpose, that's not someone you'd want to work with. The trick is, they’ll find you, or you’ll seek them. Find a common goal. Jason Todd, Barbra Gordon, Damien Wayne all have a common goal that perfectly aligns with Bruce’s (Batman’s) vision. If you're a content creator with a similar vision, find the ones like you. The people walking alongside you should be a reflection of your dreams and goals. Find like-minded people along your journey.
There’s nothing more important than having effective communication. All parties involved should be 100% in agreement in all decisions. If you make a decision, everyone agrees; then come crunch time. They’ll do something completely different from what was agreed on. They’ll say well that plan wouldn’t have worked, or this way is better for me. That’s a disaster, vent them and see the early signs before that happens.
Hang out with the individuals, test them to see if they’re a good fit. Often Communicate with small projects and plans. If you can’t agree on smaller things and a smaller setting, they aren’t for you. If you agree on something. Then come to find out that person just doesn't get it. Or they don’t want to do it, just aren’t interested in you, your thoughts are what you're saying. Run for the hills! If they're also expressing concerns to others and not you. Move on. Life is too short for others to waste your time. If you do decide to address them to see what happens, and it persists, this isn’t a communication issue. It’s, and I don’t respect your time, or your dreams issue.
These types of individuals aren’t worth the time and stress. Make sure there mutual respect and understanding. You have to respect each other's time, and agree that you respect each other's time.
3. Work Ethic
A lot of people don’t bring anything to the table. They just want, what they can get from you. Don’t be the person doing all the work. The people you’re around you should reflect you entirely. The right people will gravitate to you and respect your work ethic. Be sure you have the same gravitational pull towards them. There should be no one trying to use or manipulate one another. Be vigilant of those that see you going places, and use that as an opportunity to tag along.
You’ll be fooled by empty promises and lackluster work. They may be occasions where they may not know as much as you do. But they can assist in other areas. This is up to you. It can work, but I prefer the Batman approach. I like to have as much in common as possible. Aiming for the same dream at the same unrelenting rate. The ones that batman brings in his corner. He trusts completely. They don’t slow him down nor do they fall behind, chasing an adjacent dream leading him on.
Imagine having a dream of becoming a big-time YouTuber. This dream, has tech reviews, day trading, investing, self-improvement, and so on. This is a very specific and complicated goal. Not too many people have this dream. Now imagine coming across another person following that same dream. Not just a talker saying there going to do it. But a person that's actively putting their work online. You two meet to share ideas, and eventually, start working and collaborating; for what is now a common goal.
That’s the best-case scenario, finding a person who shares the same passion as you do. While following your dreams, you know have found the right people in your life. Have you ever tried to bring someone onboard your mission; Just to later find out they don’t care about helping you. They are more or so careful about what they can get from you during your journey. Their priorities are completely elsewhere, giving you half the attention, and a fraction of the work done.
Well, this person just doesn’t have the same passion for your dream as you do. Regardless of how you may feel or what they care more about. It’s selfish to believe you can have someone give the same amount of effort and consideration as you do. I’m sure their goals aren’t film making, editing, fitness, trading, and so on. They're not going to give it much concern to learn how to edit professionally, help you film, and share ideas.
Befriend others like you. Be with a dream girl or guy like you. Share the same passion. Become better at whatever that goal may be. In this scenario edit each other videos, motivate each other, give pointers, help each other film, share equipment, and so on. Just be sure you can trust them and make sure that person goes in 150% just as you do.
There’s a lot of fake people in the world. Most of which are standing right beside you. So you need to be able to trust the ones you bring to your team.
The list can go on and on, so you need to thoroughly vent the person beforehand. I can’t tell you how many times companies and startups have invited the wrong kind of a person into their projects.
I’m going to be a one-man army for quite some time. Furthermore, I’ve learned many skills over the years. And work extremely hard on improving what I’ve learned. Luckily what I need to be done in life I already know, and I’m very good at. There is no reason why I need someone with me. However, if I come across a Selina Kyle, or Barbra Gordan along the way. Then hell yeah, let’s work together!
The benefit of this is that you can see their passion displayed through their content. You don’t have to waste time seeing whether they're serious. You two know what is needed and are both willing to make the sacrifices to get the job done. At some point, they can use me for my resources and I can use them for theirs. Mutualism. Until that time comes, I’ll remain a recluse and stick to my 5 reasons for working alone.
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